Infinite Worth

Towards Evolving More Human Human Beings…

Yesterday, while visiting The Williamson County Child Advocacy Center in Georgetown, Texas, I was introduced to an attachment theory modality called The Circle of Security.

The Circle of Security is a visual map of attachment. The “father” of attachment theory, John Bowlby, said this about attachment:

“Intimate attachments to other human beings are the hub around which a person’s life revolves, not only as an infant or a toddler or a schoolchild but throughout adolescence and years of maturity as well, and on into old age. From these intimate attachments a person draws strength and enjoyment of life and, through what he contributes, gives strength and enjoyment to others. These are matters about which current science and traditional wisdom are at one.”

The gentle soothing of my mother’s hand on my back, the quiet and nurturing relationship as a child that I experienced with Christine our housekeeper, the safe and kind relationship in my young adult life with dear friend Sugar Bear, and the unconditionally loving relationship I found as a woman with Nordic Track man, Ed, these relationships ultimately saved my life. Each, in their own way, watched over me, delighted in me, helped me, protected me, comforted me, provided me a safe haven. They taught me that I could go out in the world, explore, return, fall, fail, and get up again.

As I have shared before, I should not be here today. My personal woundedness had the largest voice in the closet of my mind. The voice that rang louder than all the others, discrediting my worthiness. I fell prey to my own victimization. From suicide attempts, to eating disorders, to addiction, to cancer scares, homelessness, and emptiness.

ACE-related mental health experts say that secure attachment relationships with caregivers are a protective factor for infants and preschoolers, adolescents, and even mature adults, setting the foundation for social competence and promoting effective functioning of the emotion regulation and stress response systems. These special people were my resilience pill. For that window of time, they reminded me of my worthiness. They did not see my brokenness. They saw my Infinite Worth.

Sitting across the table and walking side by side with these women at the WCCAC rekindled in me that deep awareness of everyone’s own Infinite Worth. Watching them. Listening to them. Observing their interactions spoke volumes to their own deep personal commitment to always see the Infinite Worth in every person that comes in through the front door at the WCCAC.

I was one of the people who walked through that front door yesterday.

My story was held securely in their hands and their hearts. I felt seen and heard and held.

Much like the Center for Child Protection in Austin, of which I wrote about last week, the WCCAC is the tip of the spear for handling child abuse allegations in Williamson County, Texas. They interface with law enforcement, public schools, and the Department of Family and Protective Services to help facilitate age-appropriate interviews, make reports and recommendations to civil and criminal courts, provide counseling and education for the adults involved, and of course provide specialized medical and counseling care to the child victims of the abuse. From their website: “WCCAC strives to provide a safe place for children & their families to begin the healing process. Once an abuse investigation is underway, we offer child victims and their non-offending family members trauma-focused mental health therapy, free of charge. Services are offered in English and Spanish.”

The WCCAC is reaching, helping, and healing so many children who otherwise would live the pain-filled life I have. These women and all who work at the WCCAC look deep into the eyes of every person who walk through that front door. They only see the spirit we each have burning inside of us. The spirit that may momentarily have been diminished. They love them. It is this love that ultimately saves these children and their families from future tangible and potential hardship reigniting their Infinite Worth.

Dr. Brene Brown, author and shame researcher explains love this way:

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness, and affection.”

This is what I witnessed yesterday at the WCCAC, trust, respect, kindness, and affection.

Dr. Brene Brown goes on to say:

“Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed, and rare.”

There were injuries, but there was no shame. There was no blame. There was only a desire to help, heal; and, ultimately, STOP this cycle of abuse.

Author and civil rights activist Grace Lee Boggs wrote about the power of collective commitment:

“When people come together voluntarily to create their own vision, they begin wishing it to come into being with such passion that they begin creating an active path leading to it from the present. The spirit and the way to make the spirit live coalesce. Instead of seeing ourselves only as victims, we begin to see ourselves as part of the continuing struggle of human beings, not only to survive but to evolve into more human human beings.”

I continually ask us to start a revolution to stop hurt people from hurting others. Take heart, my friends, the revolution has begun by these brave and inspiring women.

I leave you with this poem by Lebanese American writer and poet, Kahlil Gibran:

Do not accept half a solution
Do not believe half-truths
Do not dream half a dream
Half a drink will not quench your thirst
Half a meal will not satiate your hunger
Half the way will get you nowhere
Half an idea will bear no results
Your other half is not the one you love
It is you in another time, yet in the same space
It is you when you are not
Half a life is a life you didn’t live,
A word you have not said
A smile you postponed
A love you have not had
A friendship you did not know
To reach and not arrive
Work and not work
Attend only to be absent
What makes you a stranger to them closest to you,
And they strangers to you
The half is a mere moment of inability
But you are able for you are not half a being.
You are a whole that exists to live a life,
Not half a life.

The women of the WCCAC are leading by not living half a life. No. They are living wholly holy lives. But they aren’t the only ones working to recognize and restore others’ Infinite Worth. Maybe it’s just because I’ve been looking, reading, and seeking out, in my still-meager way, probably even in a hunger to find the good and positive in this world. So much is being done, written, and podcasted that is uplifting and inclusive. We all need it to be contagious! Let’s work to contribute to its spread.

May we all strive to evolve into more human human beings!

Until next time, friends.