Adverse Childhood Experiences and the path towards healing. You are not alone.
I share my trials, my victories, and my stories with you in hopes that if any of you were ever touched by childhood abuse or neglect, as I was, you will see yourselves in my experiences and feel strengthened to voice what you had not been able to before. I hope we can learn together why we respond to life through a particular lens, and that there are ways to climb out of this prison of pain, silence, and shame.
My name is Bess Hilpert

Category: Healing

I Got Your Back

Is it fear of judgement, fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of not being good enough? Asking myself these questions shed a light on the primary feeling associated with my anxiety. Fear.

A Novel Experience

The Birth of finding I… In the pre-dawn darkness, on a scorching hot and humid Texas morning, my feet rhythmically paced the perimeter streets of my suburban neighborhood. Only a few weeks after shoulder surgery, my early morning swims had been replaced with silent meditative walking before most people cleared the sleep from their eyes.… Continue reading A Novel Experience

Under the Table

Finding My Disassociated Self… Recently, during a particularly difficult EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy session, I found myself back in time, sitting under my family’s long white laminate dinner table amidst the pickets of multiple pairs of legs. It was not an unusual occurrence for a sibling to be sentenced to be “under… Continue reading Under the Table

Published
Categorized as Healing

Into the Now

The Voices In My Head, and Missed Moments… “I know for me when that war wages in my mind I tell myself, how will I feel when I pass on? Did I do something good with my life? The question of did it affect someone’s life, I give to God. I can only give my best… Continue reading Into the Now

Change, Transfor-mation and Healing

Coming Out Of Hiding… Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey challenged us to ask the question “What Happened to You?” when faced with an individual’s underlying physical or emotional dysregulation. Rachel Gilgoff, MD, however, took it a step further in her research paper, Opportunities to Treat Toxic Stress, by asking the question “What is Healing… Continue reading Change, Transfor-mation and Healing

Leap and Go Forward

Learned Responses to Danger or Neglect… I have a daily ritual of walking to the mailbox. It gets me out of the house and into the elements. It is quieting and relaxing for me. It also presents a possibility of seeing my grandchildren outside playing and laughing. If I am graced with this interaction, it… Continue reading Leap and Go Forward

Velcro versus Teflon

Holding on to Fifteen Seconds of Positivity… My coach told me after swim practice one day that I did a good job leading the lane. I breathed. I smiled. I held onto her words for 15 seconds. I did not drop them, ignore them, or pretend like she was wrong. I held those words in… Continue reading Velcro versus Teflon

Small Changes Go A Long Way

Self-Compassion is One of the Most Powerful Sources of Strength… I have been thinking a lot this past week about what Dr. Alane Daugherty, author and co-director of the Cal Poly Pomona’s Mind and Heart Research Lab, was quoted as saying in last week’s newsletter, “Who Needed To Hear This Today? Small changes go a long… Continue reading Small Changes Go A Long Way

Trial and Victory, Fear and Connection

Gratitude is the Doorway to Divine Intervention… According to Dr. Bessel Van der Kolk, “The Body Keeps the Score”, “it takes tremendous energy to keep functioning while carrying the memory of terror, and the shame of utter weakness and vulnerability.”  So, for here, for today, in this space, you are not alone. “As the science… Continue reading Trial and Victory, Fear and Connection

Prayer and Meditation

A Way to Self-Regulate and Achieve a State of Relaxation and Safe Surrender… I start my day in quiet time with God and a cup of coffee. I listen to the song of the birds welcoming the new dawn and calling me into participation in the world. I read. I pray. I meditate. I have… Continue reading Prayer and Meditation